I am still unsure how exactly I feel about this whole early start thing. On one hand, it is nice because we start with less than a full load so it lets you get your feet under you before the real craziness sets in. This was especially useful first year as we got a feel for classes and how to study before we were fully entrenched in dissecting and all that other fun stuff. But this year has been harder. I has been harder to come back to things after having the summer consumed by the munchkins.
So what did I do this summer? Well, here is what I got a chance to do:
1. play chauffeur for the girls back and forth to dance lessons which they take year round
2. attempt to study for boards which I did do but did not make nearly as much progress as I would have liked to have at the time
3. attend the girls spring dance recital as well as the summer dance recital...yes there was a LOT of dance in my summer
4. play cheerleader at softball and baseball games and try not to lose it when my oldest daughter announced she will not be playing softball next year as it marks the end of an era for us, she has been playing softball/teeball since she was 6 (she turned 12 this summer)
5. got my littlest daughter ready for school. how on earth *I* have three school aged children I will never know. I swear she was just born last week and now she is in kindergarten *sigh* Moreover, who on earth told the 12 year old she could almost be as tall as me and have feet and hands that are bigger than mine *eek*
6. my oldest daughter started on pointe in ballet class. This of course is a huge deal for her and is something she has dreamed of since she first donned ballet shoes at the she of 5 :) she is in fact going to be in her first performance on pointe this holiday season in the Nutcracker. I am still shaking my head over how big she has gotten.
Than the last thing I did to officially say farewell to summer was something I would not recommend anyone doing as close to the start of school as I did. Yes ladies and gentlemen we did the insane thing...we did the probably stereotypical thing....We went to Disney World!!!!! Okay Disney in August is nuts, getting back from being in Disney in August the day before you start second year classes not such a brilliant idea. It seemed like it took me forever and a day to get back in the groove of things. Plus if you have traveled with kids, or evenly yourself, you know how insanely crazy it is to come back from vacation and all the things you have to do when you get back from vacation. *sigh*
Then we did the early start, which was nice. It felt good to get back into things to get back some of the identity I had associated with myself. It was good to see so many friends again.
The only bad thing about the early start is that they decided we should have our Immunology course during the 4 week August session *eek*. Now do not get me wrong, we did complete courses last year, we finished Psych but that was no where near as demanding and mentally draining as Immunology. Last year early start was more of a lets ease you into the process, this year I feel like we got both feet held to the fire right away. No chance to ease in, no chance to adjust just full steam ahead from the get go. Of course this was probably compounded by the fact that I had just got back from a long tiring vacation (who ever says Disney with kids is relaxing obviously has never gone to Disney with kids) and I was not completely ready to be in school mode yet. But there I was. It seemed like it took me longer this year to get my feet under me and to get that good study groove going.
Our family life has not changed very much. My son is at a different school which he is loving so that stress of dealing with a school with simply was not a good fit for him is gone. And obviously, I did not have the added stress of dealing with wondering what was going to happen to my granny because she had passed at the start of the summer. But that made first day so incredibly hard. She was with me and supported me every step of the way. She was my rock in many ways and took joy in rejoicing with me over the little things. First day is a day I would have called her to tell her all about spending 3 hours in Immunology and I could not, she was not there to call. So the next few days were tough emotionally. I know I have any more of these milestones ahead, I just hope that it gets easier as time goes on to know I can not caller and I have faith that it will simply because I am surrounded by such loving family and friends.....I am truly blessed.
There have been times in the last 7 weeks when I have wondered again why I am doing this. Times when I have pushed myself to the very limit of what I am capable of doing, times when I wanted to give up. This process asks so incredibly much and become so incredibly consuming. But then there is the little things. Doing well on an exam which you studied so hard for, having someone tell you that you picked the right path because you have the personality for it, meeting people who are as passionate about things as you, having a successful blood draw the first time ever. These things outweigh the lack of sleep you get sometimes, the fact that sometimes your stress level is high. The things you miss out on, my youngest first day of school, are sad but there are many more things and firsts you get to see and do. Balance......it is all about balance.
And I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Ready or not second year.......here I come!!!!
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