Two auditions down - no more to go

So I just finished up the second of two audition rotations yesterday and they both went really well.

I learned things from both places that I really liked and things that gave me pause as well.
When I was talking with a friend, they said to me something very true - if I had sone an audition rotation at one of my current top choices would I like it as much or would I find something that I am less than thrilled with?
On interview day you only see a few people - only tour a few places and do not really get a sense of the whole program and the pitfalls and advantages.  You see what they want to present - and never get to hear the dirty little secrets.
But when you rotate with a program you get a true sense of behind the scenes - you know everything.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  You have seen the underbelly of the beast and know what you are in store for vs being surprised.
Maybe that is the advantage of being here and having life experience - I am not naive enough to think that every place is as perfect as they portray themselves on interview day.  There are bad parts to every place - every thing has a downside.
I think this is going to be the most difficult part of the rank list - knowing that there are parts I will not be happy with.  Balancing that with the known pieces that give me pause and my overall reservation may change.
I think of the two places I interviewed I would be okay ending up at either - maybe one over the other but either would suffice.  But neither creates that sense of excitement and "this is it" I keep hearing about from people who have walked this path ahead of me.  Maybe I have not found it yet - maybe I never will.
But I am done with audition rotations and they both went better than I could have dreamed - landing me interviews at one place that I may not have otherwise gotten one.
Now off to Emergency Medicine for four weeks :)

The craziness of interview season

So I know by now you are all wondering what did she decide to do?
Well that can be answered by one simple question - I am matching family medicine with an intention to complete a sports medicine fellowship once I have finished with the three years of family.  In the end I know I am making the right choice for both me and my family and I have picked the right career for me personally as well.  I am so excited to start next June - but before I can get there I have to survive match.  
You know what - no one tells you how crazy this process is.  All I heard last year from my fourth year friends (who are now interns) was how fast this year went.  Of course they would say that about every year ahead of me - but in this case I do have to say they were 100% correct.
I submitted ERAS on 8/3 - late by many standards since the osteopathic match opened up 7/1- and that is when the craziness began.
I will fully admit I came into this match process and into interview season expecting a few interviews here and there - but I was expecting a whole lot of silence and rejections.  In retrospect I think it was the sheer process of getting here that I still carry with me.  That student was still there - the one who was repeatedly told she would not get here, the one who was told she had no chance, the one who was rejected so many times or heard nothing so many times that it came to be what she expected.  Instead two days after I submitted my application I received my very first interview invite! I was so excited - someone actually wanted ME - which absolutely shocked me.  After all, I am nothing special or spectacular - I am simply me.  I did average in my classes - mostly B's with a few scattered A's and a couple of C's but no failures.  I scored slightly above national average on COMLEX Step 1, ditto to Step 2 CS and passed Step 2 PE.  When I looked at my classmates who are applying with me I felt, and I still feel, remarkably deficient.  I did not do as much volunteer work - the things I did I did while I was at school because I wanted to leave after school time for home and family time.  I was not as involved in organizations as some of my counterparts - I just feel rather under qualified.  My running joke while I was doing the dance with the personal statement and what it was going to say was that it would consist of two simple sentences which spoke the truth:
"I survived medical school with three children.
That is all."
Obviously, my final personal statement consisted of much more than those two sentences but I digress.  I applied to programs in the immediate area, those within our predesignated radius of 3-4 hours and some farther programs reachable by commuter flights.  Then the interview invites came in - and kept coming in - and kept coming in.  Each one brought, and still brings, the same sense of complete and utter surprise and astonishment.  Each one still makes me stop in awe and think that someone actually wants me - not someone else but me.
And here we are the second week in October and I have been on 6 interviews already with many more scheduled.  So far this season I have received 31 interview invites - I have scheduled most of them but not all of them. Not too bad for the person who a little over 5 years ago thought that this would be impossible and she would never be here and would never realize this dream
I am so incredibly blessed - and am still incredibly blessed.  I get to spend the rest of my life doing what I was meant to do which also happens to be what I love.
But I can not believe that it is already October - this year is flying by.  And interviews and travel make it go so  much faster.  So to those behind me I say buckle up and enjoy the ride.

And I thought I would never need physics again - HA!

I am spending a week in the special care nursery on the baby side for my pediatrics rotation and today was day 1 :)

So what does the neonatologist I am working with decide to talk about today but everyone's favorite subject - thermoregulation. *insert me doing a huge gulp because physics and I generally do not play well together*

So we begin basically with the basic information about why we worry about preemies.  Larger surface area per body weight, not as much brown fat stored, no shiver mechanism etc.

Then he says we understand teh physiology we need to discuss the physics of why they do what they do.
*insert silent gulp from me*

So what are the four ways a preemie, or any baby for that matter will lose heat?

1. Radiant - we naturally lose and gain heat from  the environment, thus the warmers

2. Evaporation - babies are wet and our breath is moist so that is  why they dry them off quickly

3. Conductive - wet towels or blankets are cold and a baby would lose heat, that is why they change blankets

4.  Transduction - babies lose heat simply through the movements we do and air flow we create, we need to be extra careful with preemies to not move them too much and make them lose heat that way

Much to my surprise I actually remembered all of these - and just when I thought that I would never need physics again!!!

Almost famous?

I was fortunate enough to be contacted by Rose Raymond, a staff writer for the DO online magazine to discuss my blog and how it came to be.  And so I gave my first ever interview halfway through third year of medical school - something I would have never in a million and one years imagined I would do.

To begin with she asked me the all important question - why did I start this blog to begin with in the first place?

And I had to stop for a second to think, to really think and figure it out.  Part of me knew it was something I had to do if I got to this point, it was something I needed to do.  And another part of me looked at the blogs out there and found that they were written by men - not to many written by the female voice, and I wanted to correct that.
But the bigger part, the part that I am hesitant to admit even to myself at times, was purely selfish.  I waned to document this journey, yes, but I also wanted to prove to every single person along the way who told me I should not be doing this or I had no business doing this or I would never do this that not only could I do this but here is how I did it.

And then I felt more than a tad ashamed - I have not written as much as I should during this incredible journey.  I am afraid my documentation skills are lacking at best, and permanently missing at worst.  But as anyone with children and a life outside medicine knows - sometimes, no oftentimes, life has a funny way of sneaking up on us and getting in the way.  Not that it si an excuse but I am afraid I have been a victim of too much life.  Too much going on in first year to give it the attention that it needed, followed by the heticness of board prep second year followed by a major family issue that has needed far more attention than I could have ver imagined since January - and life has been messy.  But as any nontraditional would tell you - life is indeed messy, sometimes messier than others and I unfortunately seem to be doing more cleaning up rather than managing lately.
I can make no promises but I am going to make more of a concerted effort to document the last leg of this journey - match *eek*.

And she asked me what I got from doing this.  That answer came quickly - I get you all.  When I least expect it, I get a comment left on my blog that reminds me there are others considering this path who have been told they can not or they should not or how could they - and I know that I must continue to shine a light down a path that was previously dark for them.  I know I must show them that it can be done - with a lot of careful juggling and balancing and doing your best tightrope walker impression but that yes it can be done.
I think of the gentleman who approached me at the first health areer professions day I did as a medical student at MWU who was a non-traditional student and who told me he was there because my blog had made MWU seem like a very non-trad friendly place and accepting of its students.  Both of the previous statements are very true in my experience, by the way.  And I remember him telling me he was there because of me - because I showed that it could be done.  I also remember the complete awe I felt at that moment - I had inspired someone I had never met and who did not know me from another person on the street to go down this path.  Unfortunately, he did not keep in contact with me and I do not know what happened to him - but  I often wonder if he followed his dream and where it may have landed him.

But mostly, while doing this interview I kept thinking of the quote which was on my graduation announcements from University of Wisconsin-Parkside:
"The only way of imagining the limits of the possible is to reach a little way past them into the impossible" Arthur Clarke

Thank your or riding with me on this impossible journey my friends - you provide strength in times when needed.

The osteopathic trek to Philadelphia

This week marked another checkmark in my slowly dwindling things to do before I graduate - I made the trek to Philadelphia to take part in the COMLEX-PE which is offered outside Philadelphia in Conshocken.
Since I have never been out to Philadelphia, I decided rather than spend the night, or nights i n my case, near the testing center that I would spend my time in the city of brotherly love itself.
I ended up staying about 5 blocks away from Independence Hall and very close to Chinatown so I was in the heart of everything.
Even though my test was Tuesday afternoon, I opted to fly in Monday night because I did not want to have to worry about flying in Tuesday morning and getting delayed at either airport or running into extra daytime traffic.
I flew out on Southwest which was a first for me.  Now I had avoided this airline because I was scared of the whole no assigned seats thing given I had never travelled that way before.  But in talking to people who had flown and were more seasoned travelers than I, I found out the insider secret to traveling if one is going to fly Southwest.  The secret, or so I was told, was to do one of two things - 1. opt for the early bird online check in which would automatically check me in or 2. check in myself online 24 hours before my flight.  Since Sunday was Easter and I wanted toe pend as much of it as possible with my family, I opted to do the early bird online check in.  I have to say that despite all my reservations, I was actually quite pleased with who smooth flying Southwest was.  I was fortunate enough to be one the first boarding group both directions so had my virtual pick of seats - I of course decided to sit by the window both ways, even after deciding on the way out that it was not a brilliant idea given the over water takeoff and landing.  I actually find that I prefer the organized boarding of Southwest - everyone has their spot in line and people are very polite about making sure they are in the proper place - versus the usual gang rush to get to the gate to get to the assigned seat on time.
Although I do have to admit one very large flaw in my plan - arriving at night.  I drove by my hotel numerous times before stopping to ask a police officer for help.  Of course I will also say that it did not help that the only sign on said hotel was on top of the 7 story tall billing admits bunch of other equally tall or taller buildings.
For those following behind me - it goes really quick.  The 14 minutes you have fly by and then the 9 minutes to write a note seem like a blink comparatively speaking.  It seems like you have just started and then all of a sudden you are done.
So with an afternoon session, I did not get to se much of Philly Tuesday night so I opted to do my touristy stuff Wednesday morning before my flight left in the afternoon.  I went down to Independence lane and saw the Liberty Bell, toured Independence Hall and visited the tomb of the unknown soldier.  It was a beautiful area and the historic district was absolutely stunning with its cobblestone streets.
So now I wait six to eight weeks to find out if I managed to pass - let the wait begin.

The inevitable series of "what if?"s

The other night on our way to Medieval Times for a belated anniversary dinner, we passed Harper College.  The oldest, now already thinking of college even though she has yet to step foot in a high school, immediately asked us what kind of college it was.  We told her it was a junior college then proceeded to explain how people used them and how it was similar to McHenry County Community College which is much closer to us.  And for some reason I began explaining the concept of reciprocity agreements to her - that one could take a class at Harper even if you lived in Mchenry's district if that class was not offered at Mchenry - I am still unsure why I decided I had to explain this to her right at that very moment.  After a brief pause, she told us that she would never go to a community college.

And it was this conversation that got me thinking of every step and decision that I have taken on this road that has brought me to this place, this time - the series that have lead me here, and how different they could be if one path was taken instead of another.  When I look back as a whole, I am still amazed by the path that brought me here and I thought I would take this time to review the what ifs that I have had along the way.

The conversation of course got me thinking. I went to community college after high school, because I was not entirely sure how I would like college, but I had an offer to attend Winona University immediately after college.  And I wonder what would have happened had I accepted that offer.  Would I have gone forward and simply become the genetic counselor I had in my mind?  I certainly would have never ended up at Southern Illinois, which means I would have never failed, which means I would have never considered any alternative.  I am grateful for my time at CLC though - as it taught me that I could believe in myself again.  Havings toggled in highs chool to be average, it was nice to be above average and have the grades to back it up.  It was nice to be surrounded by peopelw ho were with me in my struggle.

And what if I had gotten stubborn at College of Lake County?  What if I had not gotten scared of the idea of having two majors or frustrated at not finding anyone who knew where I wanted to go?  Where would my path have led then?  I probably would not have gone to Southern, I would have ended up somewhere else.  I would not have met  my husband, I would not have had to endure the trial of Southern.  But if I had not endured that trial, I would not have gained from that experience.  For as hard as it was to be scrutinized, to received death threats and to struggle in something I thought would be not such a struggle - I would not have learned to fight for what I want, what I truly want.  I also learned not to settle as settling leads in my case to struggle - I learned to accept my destiny, not knowing at the time where it would lead me.

What if the lady at University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign had been nice to me that day I walked into the admission office with a sealed transcript when we visited?  What if she had not looked at me like I did not belong there and what if she had not been condescending when she told me they would need my ACT and it had to be above a 22 (it was)?  What if my parents had not decided to keep going down to Southern and I had instead attended Columbia in Chicago? The same series of events could apply as above and I have no doubt I would not be where I am today.

This has been such an incredible journey, each fork navigated, each improbability overcome.  So for those who say you can never go to medical school with failing grades, I say yes it is possible with a lot of determination and will.  For those who say you can not go to medical school with community college classes as part of your prerequisites I say you can.  To those who say you are too old - I say you are never too old to pursue your dream and your passion.

And for this journey, this remarkable journey that has taken me here, I am incredibly grateful.  Even things that seemed like a misstep or a detour at the time proved to be a learning experience.  In fact I was telling someone that the other day - even if you do not know why you are where you are at the time it will eventually become clear what you were supposed to learn and gather, even if it is not obvious at the time.

May those of you still on this journey know that if you falter, it is not the end and may you be grateful for the lessons learned.

almost done with third year - how time has flown

I thought that time only flew when one was talking about children. I am experiencing a bit of that now as I battle with the ever growing closer 8th grade graduation and the label of being a parent to a high-school freshmen *double eek* - especially since I swear she was a little baby being photographed in her first Halloween outfit (she was a duck). But I have to say that this last year has absolutely flown by.

The days of board prep do not seem so terribly long ago - of being immersed in questions and hoping and praying to just pass so it does not have to be done again.  Yet here I sit, a mere 14 weeks from being finished with 3rd year and it seems like just yesterday I walked into an operating room for the first time.

And I have learned so much this year.  I have learned about the type of doctor I want to be, and about the type of doctor I do not.  I have eliminated specialities as careers, been pleasantly surprised by some and still not sure about others.  I have seen the good and the bad of medicine.  I have seen a doctor whose hands are tied because there is no good option for treatments, being limited by insurance and deductibles and the realities of a patients financial situation.

There have been days when I have faced the improbable in the eye and managed to keep my composure - and then come home and hug my kids a little tighter, cry and be so incredibly grateful for what I have.

I have found my strength from my family - who have given me cards and tokens of support when I least expect it.

But I have also found it in the clinic - in the patient who is grateful that I am there. In the patient who is grateful for that hand to hold, or someone to explain at least a plausible explanation or why they are feeling this way.  I found it in the patient who told me I was a gift and she would follow me wherever I practiced because she appreciated me and my approach so much - I can not tell you how incredibly humbling an experience that is, and how good that felt.

I find myself being thankful.  It is no secret that I was originally wait listed at the Biomedical Sciences program here, that there were some doubts about my ability to do this or that I came into this experience with a huge chip on my shoulder and something to prove.  I had to prove to others that this can be done with a family - it can be done after you have been out of school for a while that it can be done if others tell you to quit.

And I am grateful for that call.  The call that came that day in August after I was on the wait list for the Biomedical sciences program, the call that came after I had been accepted into a graduate entry nurse practitioner program at DePaul - the call that would change my life.

After this year, I have come to realize that life is a series of events - al of them in which a higher being has their hand.  They guide us to be in the right place at he right time.  Sometimes that lands us somewhere good - oftentimes that lands us somewhere bad.  I have learned to cherish those right place right times moments - because it is those moments that I draw on and remember when I hit the wall and begin to think I can not do this anymore.  It is those moments that make every sacrifice, every first missed, every game late to, every conference skipped, every family gathering skipped, every bit of what it takes to do this so worthwhile.  It is those moments when I am reminded of why I am doing this in the sea of why am I doing this?

The other day I looked in awe at the profile of my youngest - all of a sudden she looked so o-l-d, and I found myself wondering when she grew up.  It is the same way I sometimes catch the reflection of myself in a mirror and I wonder "who is this person and where did I go?".  This experience has forever changed me but it has not changed me.

So for those entering this path anew or considering entering this path I say - buckle up and enjoy the ride.  Because before you know it, you will be facing match and boards and patients in clinics show ill at times take your breath away.

To the almost end of third year - and the almost start of fourth :)

On the decision NOT to take the USMLE

Being an osteopathic student in this world is difficult - so many more questions that face us, with the big one being so you take the USMLE? During my second year, I thought that if I was going to take the USME in addition to the COMLEX that I would delay and take it later in the year. This decision was made for a multitude of reasons. First and foremost - I know me and I know how I prep for big life changing determining tests and I knew that there was no way I could efficiently prep for two tests at once. I knew I needed to focus on one than the other. My logic was I need the COMLEX in order to graduate, I needed to take it by a certain time for rotations - I did not need the USMLE for my continuation forward in the program. Also, there is no rule that I had to take the USMLE in June/July - I only had to take it sometime before the residency application process which was not going to be for another year, so why not take the time and make sure I could devote the proper time and attention to it. Secondly, I was not sure if it was really needed for what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go. So I wanted to take time to make sure I was making the right decision. After all was said and done, as the title implies, i ultimately decided NOT to take the USMLE. And of course that brings up the question of....why not? It starts and end with me in the answer of what kind of residency program I want to be and who I want to be in that program with. I have to admit the decision on what kind of doc is still out for a verdict - but I am getting a clearer vision of what kind of program I want to be in as I rotate through various programs and with various persons. I have rotated with 3 MD preceptors so far, and as can be expected on either side of the DO/MD fence, the preceptors were varied in their personalities and interactions with others. Now I am not here to MD bash or say that all MDs are like this or that - I will freely admit that there are equally bad preceptors on the DO side as well. The first MD preceptor I had was wonderful. He was very down to earth and open and funny and very open to OMM and its application in the proper patients. The second group of MD preceptors I had seemed to look down on me as a DO student and one even told me that she thought there was no use for OMM ever. Now I know that there are doubts, even among my fellow students about the use of OMM, and among practicing DOs about the applications and use of OMM - but I do believe that there is a valid use for OMM in certain patients. I do not think it is the cure for everything - it is not going to help diabetes of hypertension - but there are very specific cases and patients that it can prove to be very useful for. This was the experience that made me really sit back and consider the type of people I want to be in a residency program with and what kind of program where I would find that. The third MD preceptor I had was also very down to earth and open to OMM and its use for the correct kind of patient. After taking all this into consideration - I thought I wanted to be among people that were at least open to OMM, not that everyone should be a guru or ready to champion OMM to everyone, but they should be able to recognize that proper use can help people with chronic back pain or were on crutches recently and recognize that their pelvis is now likely to be misaligned. When it comes to the end of the road - I want to be around people who are at least open to the whole structure-function connection and the application of OMM. So then the question arose about which type of program I was likely to find this in - straight DO, straight MD or dually accredited. Being that I wanted to keep OMM as part of my skill set, that eliminated MD only residency programs for me. This realization lead me to one big question - why I am thinking about taking the USMLE? I had figured I would need it to keep my options open so I could stay closer - but Chicago is DO friendly and has many dually accredited programs. Then my husband and I had a discussion - could we really handle me being somewhere else for a few years? Yes it is challenging, yes it would be hard, yes it would not be easy as a wife or mother - but if push comes to shove and that is where I was matched to, we could handle it. This talk alone opened up a whole slew of doors that were closed - which again brought up the question of why the USMLE? All of these questions surrounding why to take he USMLE and there was only one answer staring at me - I came to a very logical conclusion. I did not need to take the USMLE - it was superfluous and unneeded and would make no difference to the kind of progress I wanted to apply to. So that is why I decided not to take the USMLE - I know other who have made this decision may have other reasons I thought I would share mine in the hopes that it may help someone else who faces this decision.

Let the great debate begin

Alright so there would be no great debate had my first rotation not thrown a complete kink into my life plan - but I guess that is the purpose of rotations, to show us possibilities our minds could not ever imagine. Needless to say, that is what they have done with mine. Even though it seems so far away right now, the time when residency applications open up and I need to make a decision as to how I want to spend the rest of my life is closing in on me very fast. Anyone who knows me, knows that I have always said from the beginning that there was no way in God's green earth you would ever find me wanting to go into surgery. Yet here I sit, complete with 2 full rotations and 3/4 of the way through my third one more confused than I ever have been. I started out in orthopedic surgery after being transferred from my ENT subspecialty due to a scheduling conflict. Then the surprise of my life came - I loved, and I mean LOVED, my ortho surgery rotation. I could see myself doing this as a living. I could see myself working as an orthopedic surgeon specializing in sports medicine. Talk about a reality check. Next came my general surgery rotation which I merely existed through. I can definitely say I can cross this off my list of possible futures. I loved the patient part but was not thrilled with the surgery part. One possibility off the list. Then my general internal medicine which only served to confuse matters for me. I have been considering either a general hospitalist or an intensivist as possibilities for my future. So when I was assigned to an inpatient internal medicine rotation I was thrilled. Well, I found myself in a situation where I did not get to do much, where I wrote notes but they did not "count" nor were they reviewed so I never knew if I was thinking right or on the right track. So while I was okay with it, it did not thrill me and I did not enjoy it as much as I thought I would. So it left me wondering if I would want to do this - and given the fact that I did not get a good feel for what the experience would be like, is it fair to make a judgement on whether to pass or not to pass at this point in my journey and close that door? Then my rotation in Hematology-oncology. Four weeks of pure grief and sadness...four weeks of death and people who are facing death. It was the hardest and most emotionally draining four weeks of my life. I had been briefly considering this as an option at one point in time and I can safely say that I can climate this from any future possibility of career. Then when I was least expecting it comes another curveball. As part of our preparation for Step 2 we had to run through a practice PE (physical exam) portion with 4 patients. One of my patients was resenting to an ER type situation with acute abdominal pain. ER or urgent care has been in the fore from of my option consideration for a very long time. When I reviewed my patient feedback on my interpersonal skills, there were comments from my ER patient that I displayed "very real empathy" and that I was "detective-like" in my questioning. And the comment at the bottom of the page stuck out to me like a sore thumb: "I definitely felt like I came to the right place.". That one sentence literally took my breath away and again had me thinking ER. But I keep coming back to Ortho surgery with a fellowship in Sports medicine. I want something where I will be able to use my OMM skills and this seems like such a perfect fit. The question is can I handle the 5 years of an Ortho surgery residency with people who have personalities that are so dramatically different than mine?? I really do not know. I am leaning toward doing a semi-audition rotation early next year in July in Ortho surgery to see if I really like it and to see if I would thrive in that environment then following that with an ER rotation to have a back to back comparison on which one I like better. I do not know if this will serve to place things into focus better or if it will only serve to confuse matters more. If only I had not fallen in love with Orthopedic surgery - so now this debate over what I want to do with my life begins. And I only have until Juneish to figure it out *eek*.

Finished with 8 weeks surgery!!

So to those reading who are doing this will smallish or even not so smallish children, let me tell you that scheduling surgery during the summer months was a must. Now my 8 weeks was split into 4 weeks of a subspecialty and 4 weeks or general, but when we selected which 8 week time period it would be in we had no clue which would be first. I decided I wanted mine during the summer for two reasons: 1. I thought I was not that terribly interested in surgery (more on that relevation later) and 2. I had heard from upper classmen that general surgery hours could be brutal and I wanted it in the summer when the kids had less stuff going on than during the school year. I was so right on point 2. General surgery has to be by far the craziest rotation yet that I have experienced - but take that with a grain of salt becuase I am only on my 3rd rotation in and have not even come close to OB/GYN yet. I had to be at the hospital by 4:30ish to get all my prerounding and notes done by 6am rounds, then we were often there until 5 or 6 pm. I ended up staying closer to the hospital during the week and tehn coming home on the weekends. It was the hardest four weeks of my life. I missed my kids like crazy, and they were velcroed to me on the weekends when I did come home. Thankfully my husband switched his work schedule to alter in the day so they did not have to get up as early in the morning and my parents also helped out, but it was definitely a challenging 4 weeks. I can not imagine having to do that during a time when the kids were in school and there are many more after school commitments like sports, activities and homework to contend with. The biggest surprise of the entire rotation for me was the revelation that I actually like surgery - well orthopedic surgery that is. I ended up doing ortho first and I went in it expecting not to like it and to just survive. However, I ended up with a fabulous preceptor who was passionate about what he did and let me do things rather than sitting like a bump on a log or wall deecoration and I loved it. I loved the blend of clinic and procedures, I loved the office, and I loved the power tools!! :) This took me totally and completely by surprise becuase from day 1 I have always said no surgery for me - but I could completely see myself being an orthopedic surgeon. Dealing with the personalities one is bound to run into during the 5 years of residency is an entirely different question - but the end result is something I could do. I guess that is my other point. I know we all have inklings and ideas - but try to keep an open mind. I know at times this can be easier said than done, especially if you think you woudl enver do something or you could never do something. But you never know, you may run across something during your rotations that totally and completely takes you by surprise and opens your eyes to a possibility that you never thought of before or even considered. That is the point of all these rotations - that is the point of the experience of third year.

Half way through: one chapter closes, another one opens

I can hardly believe I am here writing this, I can hardly believe it has been 2 years since this part of my life has began. I feel like they have flown by, I swear we just started yesterday. I was weepy yesterday as I finished my last finals and talked in the hall with some of my dear friends, as we are all on different tracks and in different places and I will not see some of my closest friends for at least the next year of my life. It felt in some ways like a graduation, you know you will not see these people again yet you hope to see them sometime in the future. So the chapter of my life where I spent hours in classrooms has come to an end and I am now onto the chapter of my life where I am ready to be in the working world - even if it is doings cut work or running around like a chicken with my head off. I figure now would be a good time to share everything I have learned about myself and this process over the last two years with you all in hopes that it helps someone along the way :) 1. Second year really is better than first year. I remember in the middle of first year and anatomy that some of my second year friends told me to hang in there that second year was so much better. And I also remember looking at them and thinking that they were crazy and that I wanted stock in whatever they were sneaking in their cup of coffee in the morning. I was beyond pleasantly surprised to find that they were right. Personally for me the courses were mor interesting and more applicable to what we are going to be doing a future doctors, and the tests seemed to be different in their focus and in the way the questions were asked. There seemed to be far fewer questions focused on the can you remember the random fact on the third line from the bottom on page 12 of the 9th lecture, a blessing for this non-photographic memory student, and far more oriented on the understanding of how you differentiate between one cause and another which I found was much more suited to the way I learn. Now I will say that this was not true for everyone in my class, there are people who found second year more challenging. I think the difference in how people have felt about it all hinges on how you learn and how your brain thinks. But without a doubt I can 100% say that second year was so much better. 2. The good, the bad and the ugly - other wise known as the roller coaster No matter how prepared you are, no matter what you think you will go through, no matter your background I think everyone has had ups and downs throughout these past two years. You can literally go from the lowest of lows to the highest of highs within 72 hours.....sometimes it feels a bit bipolar but that is how it can be. You can go from struggling with something or not getting a position you applied for to being on top of the mountain and getting a complement on how well you did something or doing something right the first time of getting a good score on something. There will be times when you feel like nothing can go right and no matter what you do or try it will turn out wrong, and those times will push you to the verge of wanting to quit. There were times first year I myself looked at the administration building and thought about walking into the dean's office and saying "I surrender", in fact probably more than I expected. The things that got me through those times were the fact that I knew they would pass, and I also knew that I have lived through worse. It was those times that I had to remind myself how hard I worked to get where I was and how hard I was working to be where I was and how many people took pride in where I was. It was those times that I would find the simple thing like doing well in something that I did not expect to do well in that would give me the gumption to continue. It was those times that you find out what you are made of and will make you the person and the doctor you know you can be. You will be pushed, often to your limits, you will cry, you will want to quit, you will think about quitting - rest assured you are not alone in how you are feeling, you will not be alone in how you are feeling and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and a good day will come before you know it. 3. You will have friends you did not expect and they will get you through the madness. It took me a while to find my groove, I am by no means a quiet person but I found myself very reserved around the 20-somethings sitting next to me. After al what did we have in common?? They were sitting here at the start of their lives, and while I was no where near the end, I was certainly more established in my general life timeline. They were going out and drinking or celebrating after tests and I could not drink due to the bypass and I also wanted to get home to my family since my time with them was so limited. Then every thing started going south, and I started talking to people more and I found I had support and friends in places I would have never expected. And second year I made more of an effort and I made more friends, again with people I would not have expected. But through all things they have been one of my saviors. If I was feeling frustrated on a case or a test its as nice to vents with someone and discover that someone felt the same as me and that I was not alone. The moral of the story is that even if you are slower to make friends, you will find your group and they will be your lifeline. And of course I could not have done any of this without my incredible family. They have been so supportive and have pitched in wherever they can and the last two years have been a group effort.

Calling on help from my blog followers

Hello ladies and gentlemen!!

My son and I are participating in St. Baldrick's day at my school and will be shaving our heads in solidarity with children affected with pediatric cancers.
Please help in any way you can - spread the word among your family and friends, donate any amount you can there is no amount that is too small or insignificant.

Thank you all for your help in spreading the word and helping us raise funds to battle pediatric cancer :)

me:
http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/beckycostello

little man:
http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/declancostello

Reflections: 2 years since my life changed

Today 2 years ago, my life forever changed - it was my interview day.
That day will forever be etched into my mind. The clothes I wore, the snow on the ground, being in the glass room...every detail will forever stay with me and be part of me. It was a day I thought I would never see, the day I know some others also thought I would never see and it was finally here. That day my life changed......that day began the journey that has forever changed me.
On that day if you had told me that the last year and a half of school and life would be filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows and that somehow I would survive it all, I do not know if I would have believed you.
The last year I have faced tremendous challenges, some of which have left me speechless and shocked that somehow I had the strength to get through it all. I find myself stopped on more than one occasion and just in awe on how far I have come and the amount I have learned about myself as well as in school over the last two years. There have been times when I have been pushed to my very limits of what someone can handle - faced with issues with my son's school, the gossiping of classmates, the health issues my grandmother faced and just the general stress of being in medical school and whether or not I would succeed. All of the things in my personal life just placed so much stress on top of what was supposed to be a dream come true and turned it at times into a living nightmare. It made me dig to depths I did not know I had, doing my best impression of a phoenix on more than one occasion, and bring everything I had. And somehow, someway, much to my surprise still occasionally, I made it through and got to a much needed break.
I am so glad that I got to go with my family this summer to Disney. It held so many echoes, as the last time we were there I was still pregnant with little and we had brought my granny with to enjoy the sites with us. It was a welcome trip but at the same time just held so many echoes of what was, yet it was great to enjoy what is. The sheer enjoyment of watching little at the Princess lunch, the enjoyment of the dude as he got to experience it all again (even though he really has no memory of the first time) and the tolerance of the teen as she was pressing getting to the edge of age for enjoying the trip.
Then the realization that second year was completely different. I remember there were times during the first year when my second year friends would tell me that second year was so different than first year and wondering to myself what they were thinking and that they were completely off their rocker. Well lo and behold I will be the first to admit they were all right. This year has been completely different, I feel like it is much more suited to how I think and how my brain thinks and the classes are more interesting. Of course it could just be the Disney effect ;)
So two years later, and numerous times of wondering if I was doing the right thing, knowing I am doing the right thing, back to wondering if I am doing the right thing - I am still here. I am enjoying successes in the small victories - every step made is a step forward in the right direction, every victory is cherished, every challenge embraced. I will forever be grateful for the chance to be here, I am forever grateful that I sat in the room that day - despite all the bad, the good has far outweighed it.
Here is to a year and a half down - and roughly 4 1/2 months until d-day :)

waiting - the holding pattern and the other shoe

As the end of January comes closer and the start of February comes rushing towards me, I feel like I am in a perpetual state of waiting.
Part of me feels like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. It was about this time last year that things started going to heck in a hand basket. My grandmother was gearing up for a d&c and we knew there was a likelihood that she would need a hysterectomy. And I was so worried, so scared. Not nearly as scared or worried as I would be come February and things with her really went wrong. I was so trying to hold out hope, so trying to just get through the day. I was also dealing with my son and his teacher who for some reason did not like or care for my son and made his life a living heck, which was an incredible amount of stress on our family and me as a mom. Then on top of the stress and the waiting in my personal home life, the crap came raining down at school in my professional life. I found out through a friend I trusted that people were circulating rumors which were nasty and false about me, then I ended up having to talk to the Dean about said rumors and life was just so incredibly stressful. It was not a good time this time a year ago, and if I said otherwise I would be lying.
So here I am, same time a year later and part of me marvels at the fact that somehow someway I survived everything that was thrown at me, I marvel that I had the strength and the wherewithal to survive the onslaught of chaos and stress that was thrown at me. But at the same time, right now I can feel the anxiety in me welling up. I can feel my heart sink every time my phone rings and it is my parents, even though I know they are not calling for anything bad. I can feel my stomach turn every time I check my email, even though there is no chance that anything bad could be there. I just feel like I am waiting for something bad to happen, even though this year has been so remarkably different from last year for me, part of me somewhere deep inside feels like something bad is around the corner waiting to rear its ugly head at me.

Then I am waiting to figure out what is going on with rotations and scheduling and the like so I feel like I am in a perpetual holding pattern like and airplane waiting to make its final descent to he ground on a busy day. I feel like so much is up in the air right now. Aside from the obvious waiting for the big bad board exam in June, which will keep me waiting forever it feels like some days and like it s on top of me others, I am also now waiting to find out if I will get the OMM fellowship at school. I decided to apply and was offered an interview coming up next month. So of course this puts everything in a potential state of flux. If I get the position, I will be pulled out of the track I am currently in and placed in another track for the fellowship spots. I have no problem with this, but I feel like I will not truly know my schedule for third year until i know if I will stay in the track that I am in or if I will be switched out. Of course there is the obvious waiting that is going on right now - the waiting for the interview. I want this fellowship so much and I can honestly see myself doing it that it is driving me crazy to wait.

So as I wait, for good or bad, I decided all I can really do is be true to myself and who I am because that is all I can do and if it is not to be then it is not to be. So each day I wake up, place one foot in front of the other and decide that today will be a good day.

new year, new beginning, long roads and same fears

Time for long overdue update. I must apologize for being gone so long. I am afraid the holidays, especially these first holidays without my grandma have been really difficult and required my attention directed more to family matters and supporting my family so I am afraid the blog has gone neglected.
I think my new years resolution is to try to update at least once a week, especially now that we enter that really crazy time which we all know and love as Board prep time *eek* and *double eek*....more on d-day later :)
Even though this marks the start of a new year, I am faced with many of the same fears and doubts. It was shortly after this time last year that everything started going to heck in a hand basket. While the rational part of me says I lived through what can only be described as he&l last year with everything that happened with my grandma plus the added stress of having unfounded accusations being thrown at me by someone at school and that there is no way that anything like that could happen again this year, the decidedly un-rational part of me still has a heartbeat skip when I sit down to take a test, still longed to call and talk to my grandma about making the decision to apply or not apply for the fellowship, or just to talk to her and hear her voice, part of me still panics before exams as I go through last minute material but I also then have to go through my mini mental checklist of picking out a focal point and things like that - things that I should not have to think about but do. But enough about that, let me update on everything that has happened as well as the decisions I have made over the last few months.

Okay, first the big bad board exams. Based on the specialties I am most interested in and the availability of fellowships in both the allopathic and osteopathic world, I have decided that if I go straight residency without fellowship I will do an osteopathic residency while if I decide to pursue the option that leads e down the fellowship program I will be applying to dually accredited or straight allopathic residency programs. Couple that with the fact that I am limited as to where I can apply due to the whole house/family/husband job situation I have decided ultimately to take the USMLE in addition to the COMLEX as I would like to keep as many doors open to me as possible. However, after a long thought process I decided not to take the USMLE in June like most of my classmates are doing. But why would you not want to do that Becky?? Quite simply it comes down to one word - preparation!!!!! I know how I like to prepare for exams, I know if I opt to take the USMLE that I need to ensure I do reasonably well as it is bad to take it and do not so well, and I know I could not handle the stress and havoc of prepping for two major life and career determining exams at the same time. Yes there are similarities, yes they are essentially over the same material - BUT, there are enough differences that they require separate preparation and dedicated study time. When I was talking to my classmates the other day, one of them said he thought we had to take the USMLE in June which is not true. As part of our education to continue we have to take the COMLEX by a certain date in June in order to continue on in rotations and meet graduation requirements. There is no requirements for me regarding the USMLE, none. AS an osteopathic student it is not required of me to take the USMLE during any part of my educational process, so since it is essentially another hoop I am willingly putting myself through why not optimize my chances of doing the best I can do and do what I feel is the best in order to achieve that goal. To that end, I am registering for the three month window of October-December of the end of this year. This allows me to tackle the COMLEX between now and June 11th (my d-day) and then knowing what I feel I was weaker on as well as the differences between the exams, I can then focus my attention on the USMLE and performing the best on an exam that while I know the material I am not really prepped in school to take due to differences in testing styles etc. I have been so used to saying next year, well I guess it is now *this* year that is all abut the board exams. Plus I figure if i take the USMLE later in the year, it gives me a bit more time to explore where I would need it and what score I am shooting for etc.
So why does this all matter you ask. And well I have to say that is a really good question. It all comes down to a two word answer - track preferences. Since we all go through the same hoops rotation wise third year, my school chooses to organize them into tracks. Each track has the rotations scheduled in different orders and then we rank which track we would like first, second, and on down the line. So when I looked at tracks, I was looking to rank the ones towards the top that met the criteria of not having a "heavy" schedule before the end of the year (not doing both surgery and OB before december for instance), the possibility of having an elective toward the end of the year during which I can opt to take 2 wks off to really do intensive prep or having the elective in the latter half of the year leaving the possibility open to be able to do one in Emergency medicine. And of course the big no-no from everyone I talked to or posted an opinion about it - ABSOLUTELY NO surgery and OB/GYN back to back unless you want to audition for a role in the next "Night of the Living Dead". Since we do our OB/gyn and pads in one 12 weeks block with 6 weeks of each and there is no way to guarantee that you will do pads first if you have that block right after surgery I avoided any track that had those two blocks of rotations back to back so those were my very last options. After all things were said and done, I ended up with my first option starting with surgery then a fairly light load of family med and psych until elective between thanksgiving and new year, my second option has the elective in late feb/early march but very similar in early scheduling with internal med at the end of the year, my third option has the elective near the holiday again but slightly earlier and then the fourth again has the elective near march. So I will find out sometime this month which track is the winner and then I can go forward with further scheduling and thinking and planning from there.
Of course this all goes out the window if I get the fellowship as far as rotation scheduling. Good thing about that is that it will require me to do surgery and OB in separate summers because they length of the rotations it is virtually impossible to schedule them both during the summer after MS-2.
That was the other big decision made later in the year. After much back and forth and weighing of pros and cons, I decided to apply for the Osteopathic Manipulative Medicine Fellowship at my school. OMM has been something I will freely admit I knew practically nothing about when I started this path as the DOs I worked with did not use it to any great extent. However, OMM is something I truly love and enjoy and found I have a natural talent for both in the doing and the teaching. This fellowship is so unique and such an incredibly wonderful opportunity, I ultimately decided that I could not let things go by without at least tossing my hat into the ring. I do not think I will know anything until March or so, so any positive thoughts or prayers are appreciated - I could certainly use any help I can get.

So here I am, new year - a ton of new hopes and dreams, all marked with a tinge of sadness at those who are not with us, all marked with the echoes of the things that happened last year but all very different and exciting and full of possibilities.
At the end of the day, I am still chugging along, still doing okay in my classes, still keeping life together at home and still plugging away at this amazing journey one day at a time while being blessed to have an absolutely amazing family at my side throughout the whole thing.

May all your new year dreams come true and may the year bring many blessings to each and every one of you no mater where on this journey you may be.

The "don't become too focused" debate

*sigh*
So I do have some idea of what it is I want to do when all is said and done with school. And that idea has changed as I have crossed things off my checklist which I found did not meet some of the criteria I know I want in my career as a physician and things have been added as I have discovered routes and options that I had no clue even existed. And I am sure the latter will probably still continue as I enter into rotations and see more options in medicine.
However, I was talking with someone the other day here at school about one of my newer interests and quite frankly probably one of my top prospects of consideration, and he told me I should not become too focused and eliminate things. Huh????
I do not think I am *that* focused, I simply know what I want and know what I am bad at.
For instance, I am a clutz. I swear I can trip up stairs, and I have in fact done so. Knowing this, I know surgery probably not a good career choice for me. Is it bad for me to say I know this is not me at this point in the game knowing that the field and what it requires is not ideal for me??
Also, is it bad to say no I do not want to do OB/GYN because I do not want to have to deal with the insane hours of call that are required because you can not control when someone goes into labor (as much as we may try). This does not fit with my idea of what I want for my family. Is it bad for me to eliminate this at this stage of the game because the demands of the career are not what fits in my lifestyle and my personality???
I guess it leaves me in this crux. I am trying to keep an open mind to new things that fit what I want, but at the same time I think when you do this as a non-trad you have to have some idea of what it is you want and where it is you want to go. Otherwise, how do we endure all of the exams, all of the sacrifices we make, all of the junk we put ourselves through as we reach this dream?? What makes it worth it if it is not for the light at the end of the tunnel?? Why sacrifice a weekend with our family to spend time with 30 cadavers if not for the knowledge of the fact that we are doing so in order to be able to do what we were meant to do and what we love to do? And to endure that torture (sorry for those that love anatomy, but it is definitely not me), why is it bad to keep in mind the goal we are working toward?
And even now, as I debate the whole do I or do I not take the USMLE debate, why is it bad to have some idea of what it is I want to do? Does this not help me make that decision based on availability and location of residency or fellowship programs? Does this not help me decide whether I want to put myself through the horrors of two major board exams, one of which I do not have to take, in order to be abel to have a career as what I want to do rather than settling for something less???
I guess it just comes down to one of those non-trad things that some people, despite their best intentions, do not truly understand.

The "how do you do it?"/ "I don't know how you do it" crowd

*sigh*
I swear if I had a nickel for every time someone said to me either:
1. "How do you do it?" (med school and family) OR
2. "I don't know how you do it" (med school and family)
I think I would have a serious dent made in children's college educational funds ;)

I know these comments come from a place where people do not understand and would like to understand, but I find it hard to explain. It would be like me asking a traditional student "how do you do it without a family?". They equally find their words lacking but they know that they just do. Just as I just do, just as I keep trucking away one task, one accomplishment at a time towards a finish line that keeps inching ever more closer.
Over the past few days I have given this some thought and here is what I have come with so far in my sleep-deprived musings:
I was a mom first. I came into this being a mom, being a medical student was merely a bonus. Being mom was my identity not being a student not being in medical school but mom. That has not changed. When I come home at the end of a long day, I am still greeted with choruses of "mommy!!". I am still greeted with bounding running hugs coming from the bus stop by the over excited kindergartner. I still read stories at night, I still ask what happened in school that day. I am still mom.
Before this began, I knew how incredibly time consuming and life consuming this process could be, and I made a conscious decision NOT to let that happen to me. I made a decision that there is nothing in this world that is worth my family. I was raised in a family where both immediate family and extended family always came first, we always watch out for each others back and always lend a hand where one is needed. Family was always first, and that was something I vowed to keep as I entered medical school....it is something that has been problem some at times, but something I think I am keeping. It is simple things, like eating dinner together when possible, having lunch together on weekends, going out to a movie on a free Friday night, making plans to go to the apple orchard or making cookies on a night after a bunch of exams.
There have been so many times in this process where I have been grateful for my family. This process can become so communing, so overwhelming so....well I think it is hard to explain properly until you are faced with it but it can just take over your life if you let it. Having my family helps keep me focused, they help remind me that there is more to life than medical school. They remind me of the simple joys of eskimo kisses, laughter, pride at watching you child succeed and the joy of spending time with someone who loves you so incredibly unconditionally. It is more than just exams, which is what it feels like at time, it is life.
And life is beautiful and complex, and exists outside of medical school.
THAT is how I do it........but that is also WHY I do it.

update on my crazy week

So here is the update on my crazy busy week last week :)


1. Pharmacology test Monday and Pathology test Wednesday. This means I have 7:30 mornings Monday and Wednesday and 8:10 mornings the remainder of the week. Needless to say there may be a lot of coffee involved this week.

UPDATE: Both exams went well. B in pharmacology and A in Pathology. I wish I could have done a little better in Pharmacology but there is always the next test :) I will say that Friday morning was a two coffee morning so yes there was an awful lot of coffee involved in my week.

2. Aeryn (my youngest) had an asthma flare at the end of last week, sometime this week I need to get her back in for a re-check.

UPDATE: Aeryn went in Friday afternoon for a recheck and she was doing much better. We have her off of oral steroids (she was on a five day course), and are down to news twice a day for the next few days then will be weaning her down to once a day. Her inhaled steroid dose is also going down from 2 puffs twice a day to 1 puff twice a day then we will go back to one puff once a day over the next few weeks.

3. We have dance Monday evening, Thursday evening and Friday evening between my two girls.

UPDATE: Dance was only Monday evening so thank goodness :) Thursday and Friday were cancelled due to the fact that the studio has a production this past weekend and they were having dress rehearsals for that. Of course this means that the classes that were missed will be made up eventually so that week is bound to be crazy *sigh* Thank goodness for carpooling

4. I have a school conference for Declan Tuesday evening.

UPDATE: Declans conference went well. Completely different picture being painted for me than what I heard about last year. It is amazing what a difference being in the right school with caring teachers makes.

5. Speaking of Declan, I also need to get him in to the doctor. He had a cold a few weeks back but he just can not seem to get rid of the cough completely, it sounds really deep when he does cough and he has been tired lately. So he needs to get in to make sure nothing else is going on.

UPDATE: Declan went in with Aeryn on Friday afternoon, he is okay they think it is just allergies since he does not have any abnormal lung sounds. But he does however have a blocked tear duct so we got some ointment for his eye.

6. We have OMM next week, which means I will start working on that at the end of this week.

UPDATE: OMM is tomorrow morning and I feel pretty ready for it. I am going to do one more pass today then look over the practical sheets later as well and start working n those. I need to review cervical diagnosis but I think that will probably be tomorrow afternoon.

7. I need to make the charts for micro.

UPDATE: I actually decided to go with flashcards for micro and I have indeed started them but I need to make significant progress here so I imagine I will be working on this today.

8. I need to make flashcards for Pharmacology

UPDATE: I started flashcards and am almost through the first 3 lectures so I need to get cranking on this as well.

9. Declan has picture day on Tuesday so I need to figure out what he is wearing.

UPDATE: This was my sad moment of the week. I stopped at Lands End after school on Monday to pick Declan up something and without even realizing what I was doing I picked him out a pale blue plaid shirt, a heather gray shirt and dark blue corduroys. AS I set them down on the counter, all of a sudden as I looked at them I realized what I had done and my heart ached. My heart ached because I knew it was one of those outfits that if my granny had seen him in it she would have said how handsome he looked, she always loved him in blue. :(

10. Thursday evening I am helping out in the Health career professions day at school, something I love but something that means I will not be back until late in the evening, which will make the 8:10 class friday morning that much harder.

UPDATE: This was so much fun. I truly enjoy doing this so I always have fun. I have one more coming up in the spring then I will not get to do these anymore.

11. I need to find time to get my TB test down and my flu shot done so I can do my ECCP soon.

UPDATE: First step of TB and flu shot scheduled for tomorrow afternoon.

12. I need to arrange my ECCP with someone.

UPDATE: I signed up to be in the ER on my birthday, cause what better way to spend your birthday then in the emergency room??

13. I need to call the allergist and make an appointment for Aeryn. Well first I need to find a new allergist. The one we have been seeing only is in the location close to us one day a week and that simply is not going to work with my schedule.

UPDATE: This was harder than I thought it would be, first I had to find an allergy group that took pediatric patients that did not have a zillion and one offices. But I found one and Aeryn is scheduled for her appointment on October 19th. I am praying they find something, that something comes back positive this time although I know there is a chance that she may still pop negative,

14. Somewhere in all of this I suppose I need to sleep.

UPDATE: I did indeed sleep, not as much as I would have like perhaps but I did sleep.

Busy week ahead :)

In an effort to keep up my blog more I am going to document as much of this journey as I can. This week ahead is going to be crazy and challenging and if I come out of it with less than 10 more gray hairs it will be a moral victory.
So here is a glimpse of my week:

1. Pharmacology test Monday and Pathology test Wednesday. This means I have 7:30 mornings Monday and Wednesday and 8:10 mornings the remainder of the week. Needless to say there may be a lot of coffee involved this week.
2. Aeryn (my youngest) had an asthma flare at the end of last week, sometime this week I need to get her back in for a re-check.
3. We have dance Monday evening, Thursday evening and Friday evening between my two girls.
4. I have a school conference for Declan Tuesday evening.
5. Speaking of Declan, I also need to get him in to the doctor. He had a cold a few weeks back but he just can not seem to get rid of the cough completely, it sounds really deep when he does cough and he has been tired lately. So he needs to get in to make sure nothing else is going on.
6. We have OMM next week, which means I will start working on that at the end of this week.
7. I need to make the charts for micro.
8. I need to make flashcards for Pharmacology
9. Declan has picture day on Tuesday so I need to figure out what he is wearing.
10. Thursday evening I am helping out in the Health career professions day at school, something I love but something that means I will not be back until late in the evening, which will make the 8:10 class friday morning that much harder.
11. I need to find time to get my TB test down and my flu shot done so I can do my ECCP soon.
12. I need to arrange my ECCP with someone.
13. I need to call the allergist and make an appointment for Aeryn. Well first I need to find a new allergist. The one we have been seeing only is in the location close to us one day a week and that simply is not going to work with my schedule.
14. Somewhere in all of this I suppose I need to sleep.

Here is to a crazy week, hoping I come out of it with some sanity intact!!!

A small victory

We did phlebotomy today and I had a small victory.
I managed to draw blood on the first try.
After having two exams this week with a small amount of sleep it was a over deserved victory.
Sometimes it truly is the small things :)